How Did I Get Here

I am trying to figure out what I am doing here. I was not raised to live an unstructured life. I was raised to get a job, hopefully with good benefits and hold onto it. To go to work everyday doing what I’m told and work until I retire. I’m not exactly sure when I stopped believing in anything else. Maybe I thought that, given the miracle or good luck that had me live through my teenage cancer battle that that was my miracle and to hope for more would be greedy.

When I told my dad that I wanted to travel to Europe with my dog and try and write the storey of my cancer battle he responded by telling me that artist suffer. They get jobs as waitresses or taxi drivers and write. And if they are lucky they produce something other people want to read. I am not sure that was meant to encourage or discourage me.

Of course I heard it as a subtle condemnation of this. I constantly question my decisions and this is no different. Today I had to remind myself that this was only my second day here so trying to measure my accomplishments was premature. That deciding I had failed already, was a trifle self-defeating.

It is not surprising that people live so much of their lives in cafes here. With no central heating it is cold in the houses. Last night I was ready to leave. Then I got up, had some breakfast and Kootenay and walked along the sea edge. We watched the giant waves crash onto the shore and then sat on a bench and watched all of the town walk by us. Families, friends and lovers walked up and down the seawall meeting and greeting each other. If you watched this in a movie it would seem false and scripted.

The women here wear what is called the seven petticoat dress with black wraps that also wrap their heads. Many people mention this and question why they still dress this way. The fishing wife life seems to have been chased away from this village by the Mercedes, Alfas, and Peugeuts that crawl the streets now. I can only say that given the temperature of the stone houses the older people live in I can why. While not stylish the outfit looks like it would keep you warm.

Kootenay is adjusting to having a daily routine, I think she enjoys the fact that we have unpacked. Although, I think she liked the people in Lisbon better than here. In Lisbon people stopped us to pat her and treated her like a movie star. Often people stop and talk to us and while we didn’t understand it all, inevitabily the sentence would include the phrase “Never Ending Story”. And then everyone would smile. She looks like the dog at the end of the movie. Here people are more hesitant, and often shy away from us. After being a star in Germany and Lisbon, Kootenay is finding it odd. Rather than fawning she is treated with a mixture of awe and reserve.